#1 oW Guide to Sucess: Starting out on oW

I'M BLOODY PISSED AND UPSET RIGHT NOW and it's oW related. That's why it's going on this blog not my real life one.

Today I logged on around 3:30ish because that's when all my Turkish and British friends go on :D two that really matter- Josh and NP. It's really hard to see NP because we're barely on at the same time unless if I have a half day or weekends, so it's really important to spend time with them too. Josh is also busy in real life and it's hard.

I logged on around 3:30ish and wen't to LOVE Olivia's condo for her trading event. There, I saw Erick who became an oWGod and my mind immediately flew to Josh and ManHo. I checked again to see if Josh was on; he wasn't. I checked his profile to see if he had a test or something because it's been bloody long since I've seen him. AND I MISS HIM OKAY? I ONLY GO ON OURWORLD AT 3 FOR JOSH AND NP. Otherwise, I can go on later because my other friends have later times.

That was when I got sad. On his profile it said he quit and don't complain about it or something. So I went to his comments to maybe see why he quit and left a comment too. I HATE IT WHEN FRIENDS QUIT, SO BLODDY SAD!!!!!! If you're someone on my friend's list don't quit because I'll be really sad.

I'm talking to Ryan now to see if I can get WHY. WHY WHY WHY. Ryan doesn't know either.

Anyway, my rant is done, onto with the post.

I know I am suppose to be posting this Friday, since Friday and Wednesdays are the days I'm posting regularly, but I had so many ideas today so I'm going to write this post and save it and just revise it tomorrow, Friday.

By the way, do you guys find freaky when you're sad and depressed and your iPhone plays the music you exactly feel o.0 wtf, freaky. iPod are psychics I tell you!!!

oW Guide to Sucess: Starting out on oW

For those new-comers onto ourWorld, today I'm going to tell you some tips on starting out on oW. If you aren't a newcomer, that's okay also. You can still use those tips for tricky situations. 

Alright, so you're probably on oW because you got bored one testing day while everyone's in school, and you're stuck with your grandma *coughs* like me, or maybe you're interested in fashion and talking to random strangers. OR MAYBE YOU'RE A PEDOPHILE WHO'S WIFE LEFT YOU AND YOU JUST WANT TO FOOL AROUND WITH TEENAGERS

Whatever your reason may be, oW is a good place to be. It's better than Club Penguin because the characters are more cuter and there are more boys. Plus, you can definitely tell the sex of an avatar. Let's be honest, CLUB PENGUIN ARE FULL OF HE-SHE'S. Once I dressed up as a peach-pink penguin and got a boyfriend, and then after my boyfriend left I dressed up as a black penguin and got a girlfriend. Then when I logged on, both of the penguins were on at the Flurry and they stalked me....

The awkward moment when you're penguin GF & BF stalk you at the exact same time at your igloo. 

With ourWorld, you won't have that problem because you can clearly tell who is a boy and who is a girl :D

Anyway so here are some tips:

Tip #1 Get Motivated

Get motivated to go on oW. That is key. When you are motivated to go on, you will be successful; find something that motivates you. It could be people who piss you off, bullying of other avatar, torturing your exes, or the free non-HIV sex. You don't even need condoms! :D

FIND SOMETHING!!! For me it used to be stalking my exes, stalking the person I like and then it was people who pissed me off. Now I go on for MY FRIENDS. I love my friends.

Tip #2 Get to know test-mode 42 and cryptobiologist
LOLOLOLOL

Tip #3 Go play games 
Games give you most flow. When you first start, you're not going to have much friends, but it's smart to add friends along the way. Even if you don't know a person, just add random people on the Boardwalk. I say this because many people are against noobs, or hates them for no reason (losers), but there are people who accepts anyone and who will talk to anyone. Those are the people who you want to be friends with.

Just add people as you go along.

Tip #3 Be Yourself
People always tell you to be yourself, but it's true. BE YO`SELF. Don't be afraid to talk or do what you want to do. Even the high levelers, many of them will listen to you and not be rude to you if you're confident. If you're confident YOU'RE BELIEVABLE, even if you're saying Pokemon is the bestest THING EVER, you say it with confidence= CHA-SHING!!! :D

Pokemon is the best thing ever though. I REMEMBER MY OLD POKEMON CARDS OMG OMG OMG *HYPERVENTALIATES*

Besides, ourWorld needs some originality. Be yourself, because everyone is unique. Don't be a copy of someone else, if I wanted to talk to Chuck Norris, I'll go talk to him. I don't want to talk to a Chuck Norris Fakie. Be YOU. :) Why copy when you're the originality?

Tip #3 ELIMINATE THE SHIT PEOPLE! 
This is more of a tip for when you get 2 months into the game. ourWorld time and real life time isn't the same. What happens in real life in a week can happen in ourWorld in an hour.

It can take you 18 years in real life to lose your virginity but on oW it's like BING BANG BAM!!

now everyone chant with me

"BING BANG BAM!
BING BANG BAM!
BING BANG BAM!"

In two months or three months, you will meet some people I call...
SHIT PEOPLE!

I love my originality. Those are the people who try to rape you constantly, make you feel depressed, annoy you, and in cases BULLY THE SHIT OUT OF YOU.

Yes, eliminate those people. You can do this in few ways:
-remove them from your friends list
-delete your whole friends list
-stalk them + throw paint at them, then delete them and leave

If you want something more refreshing, delete your friends list. This doesn't necessarily mean that you're deleting the shit people, but also to refresh yourself. For me I get weird vibes and whenever I get a bad vibe, I delete my whole friends list. First day and second day will be hell because your little friends list chat bar will be so tiny, but after a little while, it gets better, A LOT BETTER

Still not persuaded? Why would you want to keep shit people near you? That doesn't make sense. Even if they are blackmailing you, eliminate them. You're going to feel so much happier. Besides, there are enough things you need to worry about in real life, why do you need to worry more on your virtual life?

Tip #4 Sex
That got your attention didn't I? :D sex sex sex
My tip for that is don't have sex with a billion people on your first week of oW. I'm not saying become a VIRGIN for life on there or get married and have sex and blah blah blah etc. etc. etc. FOR MORE INFORMATION, ASK YOUR GUIDANCE COUNSELOR FOR A SEX TALK.

After all this is a virtual game, so sex on here isn't as serious as it is in real life. All I'm saying is, don't bang 70 guys your first week please. If you bang one or two a week, up to you, but don't bang 20 +. You don't want your reputation on virtual game as "the hoe" or "the slut."

Well maybe you're horny and some really good looking guy wants to have sex with you....
HERE IS THE DEAL.
Protecting virginities here!
Pretend that his dick is so small that he has to stuff cotton balls because no condom in the world is small enough. The pickle also shows veins.  He is bald, and his teeth are yellow.

For guys:
pretend the girl behind the screen is an old granny. Her legs have little wrinkly flabs of fat and her boobs are saggy and wrinkly. She has false teeth and her breath smells like shit.

DO YOU STILL WANNA FUCK? :D
I THINK NOT!!!

Personally, I don't think two people should "do it" if they don't love each other. SEX IS A BEAUTIFUL THING OKAY?

Also, why would you want to have sex VIRTUALLY? eh, making any sense? Holding hands and kissing is cute.

*holds hands with myself*

Tip #5 How to Get out of Tricky Smushy Situations
There are tricky situations where either horny guys ask you to have sex with him. You reject nicely, but he keeps pressuring you. THIS COULD ALSO APPLY TO HORNY BOYFRIENDS :D
Sometimes you don't feel up to it. Maybe it's because you're watching Disney channel and in your TeleTubby jammies, eating pizza and you don't really want to think about "IT" right now.
(Notice how I made this conversation classier by calling "sex" "IT")
Here are some tips:
-give him the Jenna Marble's face
-say "your nunu reminds me of the pink pork my mom was chopping this morning :D"
-tell him you are cheating on him
-tell him he's ugly
-leave &forever block him. then embarrass him on his comments

AND PEOPLE WONDER HOW I STAY A VIRGIN THIS LONG

Okay so here are my few helpful little tipies. Get rich, date, and level. HAVE FUN

LOL by the way Erick sent me this song

HE SAID THIS SONG REMINDED ME OF HIM. so now it's the Michi anthem :') THANK YOU ERICK

Have a good friday