LOVE

I know this should be going under my personal blog, but I'm not up to sorting out photos, so I'm going to make this a mostly-text ourWorld blog and maybe copy and paste it later. 

I was just on ourWorld again (for the ninth time today) and I got sad all of a sudden. I looked around me and I realized there were couples EVERYWHERE 

Oh my gosh, I didn't mean for this to be a comical Nicholas Spark's book in blog form, but it made me wonder what my love life is like. Not just on this place, but in real life, Earth, and the realm. ( I think electrical chemicals make me a little high.) 

Like when I was little I never really wanted to marry or have kids or anything. 

Since yesterday ever since I watched that movie with my friends I never even wanna think about giving birth wtf 

And after all I was growing up I was convinced no one would want a loud, opinionated, short girl as their wife. #truestory #humblebrags

(Like honestly, eh how many people could say they're SHORT, opinionated, and loud?) 

But now that I'm getting older, I'm still not a hardcore believer of this love, "soulmate", affinity lover, thingy, but I do believe in LOVE NOW!! 

I know, wtf. 

It's so complicated. Now looking back to it, I realized my love life has been pretty sad. I could never trust anyone I'm with and I'm the most awkward gf on the planet. I'm good at making friends, and have no problem with friends who are guys, but once a relationship and love is involved, I suck. 

Now I wonder if all of this crappy misfortune in my love life is saving up for something awesome for me in the future. I can't imagine why something awesome would be waiting for me; I mean a lot of my friends and people now already hardcore know what they want to do when they get out of school.

Then you have me: I know what I enjoy doing, but I don't know what I want to hardcore BE. I keep on telling my mom, siblings, and friends to suggest me jobs, but none of them ring a bell. Besides, people always suggests things like : comedian, businesswoman, lawyer, or psychologist. I feel like being a businesswoman and/or lawyer is rather a safe career route. In the courtroom, your life will be bound by the law and there are so much speech that is restricted. I don't want myself to live in a comfortable, safe, but yet restricted life. That goes same as a businesswoman. I don't care how much money is thrown at my face, I don't want to live a life filled with restrictions. Besides, I don't want to work a job that I'm not passionate about. 

Meanwhile, I mean a comedian isn't a BAD job; it's interesting enough, but I don't want it to be my JOB making people laugh. I make people laugh because I like to see them smile, not because I'm FORCED to or being, in a way, paid to. Besides, none of those jobs ring that bell for me. A psychologist wouldn't be bad. I like learning about psychology, sociology and I've always wanted to help people, but then it doesn't have that clear ringing. It's not as dreadful as being a businesswoman, lawyer, or comedian, but it's not something I can see myself doing for twenty years of my life. 

I WANT TO BE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO MARRY THEIR JOBS

I'm literally, just taking life day by day now. I never know what's going to come my way, but I always feel, lucky. Even when I'm in the worst moods for the past month, I still feel extremely lucky and grateful. I'm so grateful for my friends in real life. They've helped me through so much, giving me so much advice, and accepting who I am. I'm grateful for my family, and my friends online who might not ever have seen me physically. You've all accepted me even when I couldn't accept myself. Last but not least, I'm grateful for my blog readers. I'm grateful for the ones on my other blog, and this blog. 

Sometimes when I think about this, I get so happy that I feel like a little bubble of happiness is going to pop inside of me. 

I know everyone has a stereotype saying that people who play online island games are losers, but I just want everyone to know that online or not, everyone has feelings, and everyone is a human. Online or not, you guys all mean the same to me, and have the same equal value in my heart ^_^ 

This was a really long, and wordy blog post, but for the first time, I'm speaking to you guys not as Aphrothena, not as whatever you may think me as, but as a human being Michi.