My teeth and armpit hair

I am going on a holiday. Not because I can afford it, no, its not like that. (Party Pete forbid it that I can afford anything in this world that doesn't involve the two letters Dollar Store or Forever TwentyOne or Wet Seal. ) Most of the things that I can afford usually contains two letters. That is why I have two ears, two hearts, and two eyeballs.

You guys have met my eyeballs, at least one of them, but not very much of my other body parts. So I will delighten you before I leave for my sweet trip.

Here is a picture of my teeth:

Literally, I am blessed with horseteeth so I can chew my vegetables properly without worrying about having little chunks of food stuck between my teeth. *humblebrags*

My boobs:

so flat that you can see all across for miles and miles and pretty trees

My hair:

okay, maybe i'm just exaggerating on this one, but its about the same color

my beard:

i am really proud of this thing. this is the thing that allows me to hide my money in, my change in, my comb in, and my leftover potato chips in. i never shave/wax my beard because it's just that precious. Besides, it's much cheaper than a handbag

My armpit hair:

goes for miles and miles, the lovely shambles never end. every hair lays at a different place like art. why am i showing you this. if you look at the picture for more than ten seconds, you are a pervert

Now if you are thinking: Wow, what an ugly bimbo, i would never fuck her!

The feeling is mutual.

~Michi